This past few months, I've been working hard in the gym, I've been working my arse off, literally. I have a really addictive personality and so it has been an amazing shift to move away from defining myself as a fatty who loves chocolate and who isn't active, to a person who loves to eat healthily and do the exercise at every opportunity. With any shift in self-definition, there is grief. I have experienced grief at all the major turning points in my life. I felt grief when I swapped my single girl life for that of a married woman. I felt grief when I became a separated woman. I felt grief when I became a mother, and again when I became a mother of two. Every time I am assigned a new role, I feel a sense of fear. Even if it's me who assigns it. When I decided that I was sick and tired of feeling fat and old and ugly and invisible, and I wanted more energy and I wanted to change my life, and gosh darn it, I wanted to attract a hotter type of emotionally unavaila